320: Maybe Somebody Hates Brian Eno

00:00SPEAKER- Okay, so if everything went well by now,

00:02SPEAKERyou have nog in your possession in real life, but in--

00:04SPEAKER- Oh, well thank you in advance.

00:06SPEAKER- Well, I mean, look, you don't have it yet.

00:09SPEAKER- Okay, I still gotta stay on the nice list.

00:12SPEAKER- Yeah, you, yeah, look, it's a problem.

00:15SPEAKERAnd the biggest problem of the whole thing

00:16SPEAKERis that I have this six-gallon vat that I make it in,

00:19SPEAKER'cause I make like 30 quarts every year, right?

00:22SPEAKERSo it's like six, seven gallons.

00:23SPEAKER- Is this just a giant bucket, or?

00:26SPEAKER- It's a cambro, it's a--

00:28SPEAKER- A cambro?

00:29SPEAKER- It's a, yeah, I used to do it in like a stock pot,

00:35SPEAKERa big stock pot, and it wasn't enough,

00:36SPEAKERit took three batches, and then I was like,

00:38SPEAKERwhat if I buy a bigger thing?

00:39SPEAKERAnd I found out that for like 20 bucks,

00:41SPEAKERI could buy a bigger thing that sits sealed up in my garage

00:45SPEAKERduring the summer months and comes out one time a year

00:49SPEAKERfor eggnog-making purposes.

00:51SPEAKERAnd I posted a picture on Twitter one time,

00:54SPEAKERand the people who make the container retweeted it.

00:57SPEAKERThey were so excited that like a normal human being

00:59SPEAKERbought one of their products.

01:00SPEAKER- Who are the people who made it?

01:01SPEAKER- It's cambro.

01:02SPEAKER- Oh, that's a company?

01:04SPEAKER- Yeah, they make plastic tubs that are a fixed size

01:08SPEAKERand can go on rails and stuff for commercial kitchens.

01:10SPEAKER- Got it, I thought a cambro was like a carboy somehow.

01:14SPEAKER- No, no, no, no, no, no, it's a brand.

01:16SPEAKERAnd it has like graded markings on the side

01:18SPEAKERand stuff like that, so you can do the loose measuring in it,

01:22SPEAKERbut I operate in gallons, so it's not a problem.

01:26SPEAKER- Really, really ahead of the curve

01:27SPEAKERon the cambro influencing.

01:29SPEAKER- Yeah, look, this is like Eric Pope

01:32SPEAKERand his tushy care package, right?

01:35SPEAKERI'm up there in the thought leader space.

01:38SPEAKERBut so the problem with the cambro though,

01:42SPEAKERis it's like four feet deep, right?

01:46SPEAKERAnd my immersion blender is about 18 inches long.

01:49SPEAKERThe immersion blender is what I use to dissolve

01:51SPEAKERthe two pounds of sugar into each batch of eggnog.

01:55SPEAKERAnd in order for it to work, it's not deep enough.

01:59SPEAKERAnd this is a problem I've faced many times

02:01SPEAKERand I usually end up just getting,

02:02SPEAKERI have a big long spoon that I use,

02:05SPEAKERbut that sucks and takes a long time and it's not ideal.

02:11SPEAKERSo I was gonna solicit the tech pod community

02:14SPEAKER'cause they're kind of ingenious

02:15SPEAKERand I assumed that there's like,

02:17SPEAKERI thought about buying like a paint stirrer, honestly,

02:19SPEAKERfor my, like just put on a drill

02:22SPEAKERand hang it up over the thing and stir it all up.

02:24SPEAKERThose probably get pretty long.

02:26SPEAKER- They get long, but I'm not sure that they're food safe.

02:29SPEAKER- Yeah, and I'm not sure you want a power tool

02:30SPEAKERhovering around your food products.

02:33SPEAKER- Yeah, I'm okay with that.

02:34SPEAKERI don't really drink that much nog,

02:35SPEAKERso it doesn't really affect me

02:37SPEAKERas much as the other people I give it to.

02:39SPEAKER- A few little undetectable metal shards in there

02:41SPEAKERand a big-- - Yeah.

02:42SPEAKERMetal shavings, a little bit of oil, it's fine.

02:45SPEAKER- It's just extra iron.

02:47SPEAKER- I don't actually think the drill that I would use for this

02:50SPEAKERis like a little battery powered one,

02:51SPEAKERso it's not a problem, but yeah.

02:54SPEAKERBut yeah, so I would love feedback

02:57SPEAKERfrom the tech pod community if you all have ideas

02:59SPEAKERor if like there's a, I mean, A,

03:01SPEAKERI know that there are commercial immersion blenders

03:04SPEAKERthat I can buy, and I looked at them and I priced them out,

03:07SPEAKERand I thought about where I was gonna store

03:09SPEAKERa four foot long immersion blender

03:12SPEAKERfor the 364 days a year that I don't use it,

03:15SPEAKERand I decided that that was A, too expensive,

03:18SPEAKERB, a little bit ridiculous, and C, something that like,

03:21SPEAKERlike my wife could get behind the Cambro

03:23SPEAKER'cause like we put other stuff in it

03:25SPEAKERthat is like infrequently used kitchen items

03:29SPEAKERand it lives in the garage on a shelf,

03:31SPEAKERbut I don't think I can get the,

03:33SPEAKERI don't think I can get the commercial immersion blender,

03:35SPEAKERand also I don't wanna spend 130 bucks on it

03:38SPEAKERor whatever it costs.

03:39SPEAKER- Yeah, that's sensible.

03:40SPEAKERListen, we're big on natural peanut butter around here,

03:42SPEAKERwhich I'm sure you know. - Yeah.

03:44SPEAKER- Takes some elbow grease to get going.

03:46SPEAKER- Yeah.

03:47SPEAKER- B, it's basically a thin layer of peanut oil

03:50SPEAKERand then a brick of solid peanut butter underneath.

03:52SPEAKER- Did you try the upside downing thing?

03:53SPEAKER- Yes, yes, I do that.

03:55SPEAKERI forget, I think that came from like GQ

03:56SPEAKERor some czar source like that, but yes.

03:59SPEAKERYou have to plan ahead a couple of days,

04:01SPEAKERlike turn it upside down one day,

04:02SPEAKERturn it right side up the next day.

04:04SPEAKER- Oh, okay.

04:05SPEAKER- One more cycle, and then on the fourth day,

04:07SPEAKERyou can stir your peanut butter,

04:08SPEAKERbut I have also thought about the electric drill

04:11SPEAKERpaint stirrer method for maybe loosening up

04:14SPEAKERthe peanut butter, like 2026 goal maybe.

04:17SPEAKER- Yeah.

04:18SPEAKER- Culinary power tools is an unexplored area

04:21SPEAKERof internet content that we might tap into.

04:23SPEAKER- Do you think a paint shaker would do it?

04:25SPEAKER- Maybe?

04:26SPEAKER- Like there's a paint stirrer just down the street

04:27SPEAKERfrom your house, you could go in there and be like,

04:29SPEAKERhey, can I smack this on the shaker for a minute?

04:31SPEAKER- We gotta stop burning these ideas in public.

04:33SPEAKER(upbeat music)

04:51SPEAKER(upbeat music continues)

05:01SPEAKER- Welcome to Brad and Will Made of Tech Pod, I'm Will.

05:05SPEAKER- I'm Brad, happy new year.

05:06SPEAKER- Happy new year.

05:07SPEAKERIt feels like just yesterday we were here

05:10SPEAKERrecording the intro and outro for last week's episode.

05:12SPEAKER- It sure does.

05:13SPEAKER- Just moments ago.

05:14SPEAKER- That's right.

05:15SPEAKER- Super fresh into mind.

05:16SPEAKER- Well, hey, but it's 2026 now, it's a fresh new year.

05:18SPEAKEREverything's gonna be great, right?

05:20SPEAKER- You know, yeah, for the sake of argument, let's say yes.

05:23SPEAKER- Let's hope yes.

05:24SPEAKER- Yeah, but you know what I know is guaranteed to be great?

05:27SPEAKER- What's that?

05:28SPEAKER- More ranking.

05:29SPEAKER- Ooh, that is a bold statement to make before,

05:34SPEAKERat the time of this recording, the first episode has posted.

05:37SPEAKER- Look, I know what we've ranked.

05:40SPEAKERI know that we went to a lot of effort

05:42SPEAKERto special effect things into the episode.

05:46SPEAKERI know that people love startup sounds,

05:48SPEAKERand I know that we ranked at least one thing perfectly.

05:52SPEAKER- Okay.

05:53SPEAKER- The Windows 95 startup sound, 100% correct, S tier.

05:57SPEAKERNo question. - Universal agreement.

05:58SPEAKERYes, absolutely.

05:59SPEAKER- And if this is before that,

06:00SPEAKERthen I apologize for just spoiling

06:02SPEAKERthat we S-tiered the Windows 95 startup sound,

06:04SPEAKERbut I don't think that's a spoiler

06:05SPEAKERfor anybody who's listened to the show.

06:07SPEAKER- I think that while I've got the edit notes

06:08SPEAKERright in front of me, I can probably tell you,

06:10SPEAKERI think that's in the first half.

06:12SPEAKERI'm pretty confident.

06:13SPEAKERAlso, I think it's pretty much assumed, right?

06:16SPEAKER- Yeah.

06:17SPEAKER- If there's one sound everybody can get behind,

06:18SPEAKERI would like to think it's that one, but you know.

06:21SPEAKER- Maybe somebody hates Brian Eno.

06:22SPEAKER- Sometimes the audience surprises you.

06:24SPEAKER- Yeah, maybe Brian Eno broke up a marriage one time,

06:27SPEAKERand the children that fell out of that

06:30SPEAKERare really sour about him.

06:32SPEAKER- Oof, oof, boy.

06:33SPEAKER- Hate that Windows 95 startup sound.

06:35SPEAKERI think the follow-on to this episode,

06:38SPEAKERmaybe we should do this for the Patreon episode last month.

06:40SPEAKERIt's already out.

06:41SPEAKERWe recorded it a couple of days after we recorded this,

06:44SPEAKERis we should record our custom Windows 95 startup sound,

06:50SPEAKER'cause you could, remember, you could download a pack.

06:52SPEAKER- Right.

06:53SPEAKER- It was one of the first things I downloaded

06:54SPEAKERon the internet was a pack of Windows 95 startup sounds,

06:58SPEAKERand I had Simpsons ones, and I guess I didn't have

07:02SPEAKERFuturama 'cause that didn't exist yet,

07:04SPEAKERbut maybe South Park?

07:05SPEAKER- Yeah, I think we touched on this

07:07SPEAKERin one of these two episodes.

07:08SPEAKERI think we both recited our Windows login sounds.

07:11SPEAKERMine were all Star Wars quotes.

07:13SPEAKERI had there are too many states, please remove one,

07:17SPEAKERand something that Mo said.

07:20SPEAKERI can't remember the one that Mo said,

07:21SPEAKERbut anyway, we're back on our bullshit.

07:24SPEAKERWe're ranking some more startup sounds.

07:26SPEAKERWe hope you enjoy.

07:27SPEAKER- And as mentioned, we finished it this week, so.

07:30SPEAKER- Yeah.

07:31SPEAKER- Two and done.

07:32SPEAKER- I like to think that this is the last word

07:33SPEAKERthat anyone will ever have to say on this.

07:36SPEAKERI expect to see some Wikipedia citations.

07:38SPEAKERI expect to see anybody else

07:41SPEAKERthat does this topic in the future.

07:42SPEAKERI expect that they'll link back to the source material,

07:45SPEAKERthe only people who've ever done this

07:47SPEAKERin the history of mankind and all time.

07:49SPEAKERAnd yeah, if we missed anything, please let us know,

07:52SPEAKERand we'll tack on a third episode

07:53SPEAKERat some point in the future, maybe, or probably not.

07:56SPEAKERI don't know.

07:57SPEAKERRanking.

07:58SPEAKER(upbeat music)

08:01SPEAKEROkay, should we go back to some consoles here for a minute?

08:04SPEAKER- Yes, I'm gonna, similar to the,

08:07SPEAKERwhichever Windows it was that sounded like hackies to me,

08:09SPEAKERthe point I was gonna make earlier,

08:11SPEAKERthe original Xbox sound sounds like old Jay Allard.

08:17SPEAKER- Yeah.

08:18SPEAKER- Like, have you ever seen the old pictures of Jay Allard

08:20SPEAKERthat would go around? - Ballroom, slouchy

08:21SPEAKERwith a hoodie, but no sports coat.

08:23SPEAKER- Before he started shaving his head,

08:24SPEAKERhe was a bit heavier,

08:26SPEAKERlike wearing Microsoft Business Casual.

08:30SPEAKER- Yeah.

08:30SPEAKER- And then.

08:31SPEAKER- He looked world wary.

08:32SPEAKER- And then shaved head, svelte Jay Allard

08:34SPEAKERin the suit coat and hoodie combo.

08:37SPEAKER- Yeah.

08:38SPEAKER- That's the distinction between the Xbox

08:39SPEAKERand the Xbox 360 startup sounds to me.

08:42SPEAKER- So this is the original Xbox 360 startup sound?

08:45SPEAKER- Yup.

08:50SPEAKERIt's great.

08:51SPEAKER- That swoosh and the chime. - It's great, it's great.

08:54SPEAKER- So freaking good.

08:55SPEAKER- It's great, and the animation that goes along with it

08:57SPEAKERis also fantastic.

08:59SPEAKER- Yeah.

08:59SPEAKER- That is A or S to me.

09:02SPEAKER- This is S, 100%, this is an S for me.

09:04SPEAKER- I am perfectly happy calling that an S tier startup sound.

09:08SPEAKERThere's two components to this, there's the lift,

09:11SPEAKERI think a lift, I think as we listen to these,

09:13SPEAKERI think I'm realizing that having a lifting element

09:16SPEAKERof the, as the song goes up is really important

09:20SPEAKERto making this whole thing work.

09:22SPEAKER- Sure.

09:23SPEAKER- So like, listen to this again.

09:26SPEAKERLift, swoosh, chime, perfect.

09:31SPEAKERIt's all you need, that's everything you need in one of these.

09:33SPEAKER- It's also a perfect length.

09:34SPEAKER- Yeah.

09:35SPEAKER- Does not so ever say it's welcome.

09:37SPEAKER- Well, now the problem was that the boot process

09:39SPEAKERfor the Xbox 360 took a really long time

09:40SPEAKERand then loading some of the disc took a long time,

09:43SPEAKERso you ended up looking at the logo for like 45 seconds

09:46SPEAKERor a minute after this before the game loaded,

09:47SPEAKERbut you know, whatever.

09:49SPEAKER- That's not the sound's fault.

09:51SPEAKER- No, it's not the sound's fault.

09:53SPEAKERThere's also a Kinect revision for this.

09:55SPEAKER- Yes, there is.

09:57SPEAKER- I'm gonna play that as well.

09:58SPEAKERI don't know how we feel about ranking this,

10:00SPEAKERbut I'm gonna play it anyway.

10:01SPEAKER- Oh, I think we should.

10:03SPEAKER- Okay.

10:04SPEAKER(dramatic music)

10:09SPEAKER- Yeah, so that's the one they patched in

10:12SPEAKERafter the Kinect came out.

10:13SPEAKER- That was after they killed the blades?

10:16SPEAKER- Well, they killed the blades way before that.

10:18SPEAKERThey killed the blades like two years before,

10:20SPEAKERmaybe three years before the Kinect came out,

10:21SPEAKERbut they got rid of the old one.

10:24SPEAKERLike they literally, you couldn't hear

10:27SPEAKERand see the first version that we just gave an S to

10:29SPEAKERbecause they replaced it with this shlock.

10:31SPEAKERI mean, I actually don't actually hate the sound

10:33SPEAKERon its own.

10:34SPEAKER- It's fine.

10:35SPEAKER- It's decent, but it reminds me of an era

10:40SPEAKERof the Xbox where things were starting to go downhill.

10:42SPEAKER- Yeah, it's definitely not as good.

10:44SPEAKER- And it prevents you from hearing the amazing first one.

10:47SPEAKERLike there was just no way to hear that again.

10:49SPEAKER- Yep.

10:50SPEAKER- So I'm gonna say 360 Kinect is like a C at best.

10:54SPEAKER- Yeah.

10:56SPEAKER- Maybe I'm holding too much of the context

10:57SPEAKERagainst the sound.

10:59SPEAKERPlay it a couple more times.

10:59SPEAKERI mean, we need to ruminate on this, but.

11:02SPEAKER- Yeah, the other thing about the Kinect version

11:04SPEAKERis that they had an actual Kinect version

11:08SPEAKERthat was only on the Kinect games

11:10SPEAKERthat had children's laughter on top of that.

11:12SPEAKER- Okay, I'm weird.

11:13SPEAKERI don't know. - Inexplicably.

11:14SPEAKER- Yeah, I mean, I am using shorthand here

11:17SPEAKERand just calling this the Kinect version

11:18SPEAKERbecause it just went, that's around the time

11:20SPEAKERthat that system update went out

11:22SPEAKERand this became the official sound.

11:25SPEAKER(dramatic music)

11:30SPEAKER- Yep, yep, I mean, it's not terrible.

11:32SPEAKERIt's like, you know, it's reminiscent of the.

11:35SPEAKER- I'm playing the first one again.

11:36SPEAKER- It's reminiscent of the superlative original.

11:38SPEAKER(dramatic music)

11:43SPEAKERJump in.

11:44SPEAKER- Yeah, like. - The fucking effect

11:46SPEAKERof their marketing is or was that I hear that sound

11:49SPEAKERand I'm here reciting their tagline from their commercials.

11:52SPEAKERLike that's bad.

11:53SPEAKER- The other thing is the thing that happens

11:54SPEAKERthen that whoosh sound that comes in at the end

11:57SPEAKERis way better on the original one

11:59SPEAKERthan it is on the later ones.

12:00SPEAKERThe later one is weak and punchy

12:02SPEAKERand that first one sounds good

12:03SPEAKERand when it played on your stereo in your living room,

12:06SPEAKERit sounded fucking awesome.

12:08SPEAKER- Yep, yep, I don't disagree.

12:11SPEAKER- Also that initial whoosh, I don't need that whoosh.

12:15SPEAKERYeah, jump in, you're right, Brad.

12:17SPEAKER- You're right, I don't like that.

12:18SPEAKERI think whatever I was using at the time,

12:21SPEAKERit took a second to handshake when I turned it on

12:24SPEAKERso I missed that whoosh a bunch of the time or something.

12:26SPEAKERSo like I was spared that,

12:28SPEAKERbut yeah, I don't like the whoosh either.

12:29SPEAKER- I'm anti whoosh.

12:30SPEAKER- I have that at a C, which I think is fair.

12:32SPEAKER- I think that's generous.

12:34SPEAKER- I could, I don't think it's better than,

12:36SPEAKERit's like it's an okay sound.

12:38SPEAKER- I'd put the children laughing version at a D

12:40SPEAKERand the regular Kinect one at a C, I guess, I don't know.

12:45SPEAKER- Okay, that's the 360.

12:47SPEAKER- Okay, so now it's PS3 time.

12:48SPEAKER- Okay, I'm excited about this.

12:50SPEAKER- Okay, so PS3, there were three different revs

12:53SPEAKERand I can't tell the difference in them.

12:55SPEAKERI think they're just different lengths basically, so.

12:58SPEAKER- Okay, that's really just the first one I'm gonna say

13:01SPEAKERis the one that matters.

13:02SPEAKER- Okay, so this is the PS3.

13:04SPEAKERThis YouTube video is listed as PS3,

13:07SPEAKERold PlayStation 3 startup and game startup.

13:12SPEAKER(dramatic music)

13:18SPEAKER- Okay, I need to explain something.

13:21SPEAKERAre you familiar with the phrase arrogant Sony?

13:24SPEAKER- No.

13:25SPEAKER- Okay, this is around the top.

13:27SPEAKEROkay, you remember what the PS3 cost when it came out.

13:29SPEAKER- People are gonna get a second job to get a PlayStation 3

13:31SPEAKERand then it famously flopped at launch.

13:33SPEAKER- It was 599 US dollars and you were going to want

13:37SPEAKERto get a second job to be able to afford it.

13:41SPEAKER- Yeah, sometimes people use hyperbole for evil.

13:43SPEAKER- Here is my argument that this is the perfect,

13:47SPEAKERit's the best possible startup sound

13:49SPEAKERfor the arrogant era of PlayStation.

13:51SPEAKER- Look, if Frazier Crane specked out the startup sound

13:55SPEAKERfor this console, this is what it would be.

13:56SPEAKER- I think it is more arrogant than that.

13:58SPEAKERIt is literally an orchestra tuning it.

14:00SPEAKERIt's like, it's an orchestral tuning.

14:02SPEAKERIt's like an orchestra tuning up before a performance.

14:05SPEAKERLike it's literally, this console is starting up

14:07SPEAKERand literally saying like, yo,

14:08SPEAKERyou are about to experience a symphony.

14:11SPEAKER- I mean, look.

14:14SPEAKER(dramatic music)

14:20SPEAKER- Like this is either an S or a D, I'm not sure which.

14:22SPEAKER- Oh, I think this, yeah, like I'm kind of with you.

14:26SPEAKER- Like the sheer fucking audacity of it

14:29SPEAKERmakes me want to give it an S, like it's just hilarious.

14:31SPEAKERThat's just the sound it went with.

14:34SPEAKER- I came to the PlayStation 3 late.

14:36SPEAKERLike, I think I got it when,

14:37SPEAKERI think I bought a PlayStation 3

14:38SPEAKERwhen Metal Gear Solid came out, 4 came out for it.

14:41SPEAKER- Okay, that was 2008.

14:42SPEAKER- And 'cause I also knew it was the end of the bundles

14:45SPEAKERwith the backwards compatibility and all that stuff.

14:48SPEAKERAnd when I plugged this in and fired it up,

14:52SPEAKERit felt like a much classier console than my Xbox 360.

14:55SPEAKER- Sure, yes, I don't disagree.

14:57SPEAKERLike Sony as a consumer brand has a certain panache to it,

15:00SPEAKERyou know, like in the PlayStation

15:02SPEAKERwas, you know, emblematic of that.

15:06SPEAKERAll their, you know, the Walkman consumer electronics,

15:08SPEAKERtheir TVs and stereos, like there was a high end

15:11SPEAKERsort of vibe to Sony consumer products,

15:14SPEAKERespecially at this time.

15:15SPEAKER- Yeah, and it was pre their make-believe era,

15:18SPEAKERwhich was a bad time, which we'll get to in a minute.

15:20SPEAKERBut I feel like this is like,

15:25SPEAKERhey, I'm 28 years old, 23 years old.

15:29SPEAKERIs that right?

15:30SPEAKER33 years old.

15:31SPEAKERI'm going to put on my smoking jacket,

15:35SPEAKERmaybe have a glass of port,

15:37SPEAKERand I'm gonna play a upscale consumer gaming experience

15:40SPEAKERon my living room TV.

15:42SPEAKER- Or you're gonna watch a 1080p release of Citizen Kane,

15:45SPEAKERwell, I don't know what was out at the time,

15:46SPEAKERbut you know, this was many people's first

15:48SPEAKERBlu-ray player as well.

15:49SPEAKERSo you're watching high definition discs for the first time.

15:53SPEAKERAnyway, not Jermaine here.

15:55SPEAKER- I think this is an S tier, I think this one's a banger.

15:57SPEAKER- I think I like, ironically, I'm going to give it an S.

16:01SPEAKERI think it's, again, I just think it's astoundingly funny

16:04SPEAKERthat they went for this.

16:07SPEAKER- Should I play the slim one as well, just for completion?

16:11SPEAKER- So those would have just been only available to you

16:13SPEAKERif you bought the later models, I think.

16:15SPEAKERLike that's not, it's not like these got patched

16:17SPEAKERinto the original hardware or anything like that.

16:21SPEAKER- Now they did change the start, actually, I think they did,

16:23SPEAKER'cause I think when they did firmware 3.0, is that right?

16:26SPEAKERfirmware, most firmware 3.0.

16:28SPEAKER- Maybe, I don't remember that.

16:29SPEAKER- But he got the new sound, which is when the slim came out.

16:31SPEAKER- I guess that's possible.

16:33SPEAKER- That was the note that I saw

16:34SPEAKERon one of the things I said, here we go.

16:36SPEAKER- I've got my fat hooked up in the living room right now, but.

16:38SPEAKER- Oh.

16:47SPEAKER- I think that's less interesting.

16:48SPEAKERI think it feels like there's less instrumentation there.

16:51SPEAKER- I think it's a little faster too,

16:52SPEAKER'cause probably the boot up was faster.

16:56SPEAKERDoesn't have the pitch pipe at the beginning.

16:58SPEAKER- Is that the original?

17:00SPEAKER- This is the original.

17:01SPEAKER- Okay, I think they're similar enough

17:04SPEAKERto all kind of be the same thing.

17:05SPEAKER- I think the pitch pipe at the beginning

17:07SPEAKERis actually kind of important.

17:08SPEAKER- Yeah, sure, but I mean, they all convey a similar vibe.

17:12SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

17:13SPEAKERI mean, look, the other thing that is important to remember

17:16SPEAKERabout the original is that it was using a PlayStation one

17:19SPEAKERas the audio chip, right?

17:22SPEAKER- No, for the, as the IO controller.

17:23SPEAKER- IO controller, yeah.

17:24SPEAKER- They used the CPU, the PS1 CPU was the IO controller

17:26SPEAKERin the PS3, as I recall.

17:28SPEAKER- Okay.

17:30SPEAKERWe can put them all in the same spot on the tier list.

17:32SPEAKERI don't think we have to go through all of them.

17:34SPEAKER- Do you want to play the super slim one?

17:36SPEAKERI didn't realize there was yet another revision.

17:38SPEAKER- Yeah, so I didn't listen to a whole lot of these

17:41SPEAKERwhen I was setting them up just so I could come in cold too.

17:44SPEAKER- But here's the super slim.

17:47SPEAKERThis is the, this is, I don't know,

17:49SPEAKERthis was like a 2012 or 2011 release or something,

17:53SPEAKERlike around the time the PS4 came out, as I recall.

17:55SPEAKER- Okay.

18:04SPEAKERYeah, these are not distinctive enough from each other

18:06SPEAKERto be worth splitting up in any way.

18:08SPEAKER- I think the first one with the pitch pipe

18:10SPEAKERand all that is my preferred,

18:13SPEAKERbut I don't think they'd be different tiers.

18:15SPEAKER- Yeah, sure, sure.

18:17SPEAKER- Okay, so that's, oh, and then the Wii, of course.

18:20SPEAKER- Yeah, did the Wii have anything?

18:23SPEAKERWell, I don't remember the Wii having a startup sound at all.

18:26SPEAKER- Didn't you not have a Wii, famously?

18:27SPEAKER- I've never owned a Wii.

18:28SPEAKER- Yeah, so here you go.

18:32SPEAKERWarning health and safety, press A to continue.

18:37SPEAKER- Oh, that doesn't count, that's menu music.

18:39SPEAKER100% disqualified.

18:42SPEAKER- It's just the opening chimes of the music.

18:44SPEAKERIt's the same problem as the PS5, it's not distinct.

18:47SPEAKER- Oh, you're already at the menu at this point,

18:48SPEAKERthat is menu music in the same way that the Wii shop is.

18:51SPEAKER- It's. - Oh, it does not wait.

18:53SPEAKER- You think if it hits after press A to continue,

18:56SPEAKERit doesn't count?

18:56SPEAKER- If you were already interacting with the system,

18:58SPEAKERit is a different thing entirely.

19:02SPEAKER- I don't know, man.

19:02SPEAKER- I'll certainly argue that this is pretty as well

19:06SPEAKERpleasant menu music, but it's not startup.

19:08SPEAKERThis is not a startup sound.

19:10SPEAKER- That's a startup sound right there.

19:11SPEAKER- It is absolutely not.

19:13SPEAKER- Wow, so no ranking for the Wii.

19:15SPEAKER- Nope, disqualified, DQ, get the fuck out of here, Wii.

19:18SPEAKER- Wow, you may be the greatest seller of all time,

19:22SPEAKERbut not in the start music category.

19:26SPEAKER- Oh, the Switch has beaten it by now, actually.

19:29SPEAKER- Yeah, okay.

19:30SPEAKER- And also, and the Switch technically is still second

19:32SPEAKERto the PS2 for now, and probably forever.

19:36SPEAKER- Should we go back to...

19:38SPEAKER- Maybe do a little more computer stuff.

19:39SPEAKERThis is definitely getting into the era.

19:41SPEAKERWe do have handhelds to get through from before,

19:43SPEAKERbut that's true.

19:45SPEAKERConsole-wise, we're getting into the era

19:46SPEAKERwhere there kind of aren't really

19:47SPEAKERstartup animations anymore.

19:49SPEAKER- Well, look, you said there weren't startup animations

19:52SPEAKERfor these, but there's sounds.

19:54SPEAKERThere's always a sound.

19:57SPEAKERShould we do some handhelds maybe?

20:00SPEAKER- Sure, yeah, sure.

20:02SPEAKER- You sound enthusiastic.

20:03SPEAKER- No, no, I mean, the PSP one, I'm excited to hear.

20:06SPEAKER- Let's do... - Great, it's fantastic.

20:08SPEAKER- Let's do the DS to start.

20:10SPEAKER- Okay, also great.

20:14SPEAKER- So I don't think the Game Boys prior to this

20:16SPEAKERhad anything, right?

20:18SPEAKER- They didn't.

20:18SPEAKERWell, I mean, shit, what are we talking about?

20:22SPEAKER- What are we talking about?

20:23SPEAKER- 100,000% they do.

20:26SPEAKER- Really?

20:27SPEAKER- Now that I think about it, did you ever have a Game Boy?

20:29SPEAKER- No, my sister had the Game Boy.

20:31SPEAKERI wasn't really allowed to play it very much.

20:33SPEAKER- Was she older?

20:34SPEAKER- No, she was younger, but I respect my sister.

20:37SPEAKER- Oh, okay.

20:38SPEAKERYou don't remember the Nintendo logo slowly descending

20:41SPEAKERfrom the top of the screen and then the two-tone beep

20:44SPEAKERwhen it settles into place in the middle?

20:46SPEAKER- I don't know if I'm gonna say a two-tone beep

20:48SPEAKERis startup music.

20:51SPEAKERI guess this is startup sounds though.

20:52SPEAKER- Are you sure about that?

20:55SPEAKERPerhaps if I were to paste it into this document,

20:57SPEAKERyou could play it into the recording here.

20:59SPEAKER- I have a Game Boy, yeah, I can do that.

21:02SPEAKERWhere are you putting it?

21:03SPEAKERJust right there, okay.

21:06SPEAKERI can play this.

21:09SPEAKEROh, I do remember this now.

21:12SPEAKER- Come on, man.

21:13SPEAKER- Oh, fuck yeah, instant S tier, you're not wrong.

21:17SPEAKERYeah, no, that's real good.

21:20SPEAKER- I'm just typing Game Boy under S.

21:21SPEAKER- Is it different for the Game Boy Color though?

21:25SPEAKER- You'd have to play it.

21:25SPEAKERI have a Game Boy Color, but I don't remember.

21:28SPEAKER- Oh, it's a little bit, it's stereo, I think.

21:31SPEAKER- One more time.

21:34SPEAKER- It's like two-tones instead of one.

21:35SPEAKER- Yeah, I don't think they're different enough

21:38SPEAKERand I also don't like that as much as the clarity.

21:41SPEAKER- Yeah, the Game Boy Color would be lower,

21:42SPEAKERwould be like a D or C for me, probably.

21:45SPEAKER- The pristine clarity of the original Game Boy beeps.

21:49SPEAKERSublime.

21:49SPEAKER- Okay, there's Game Boy Advance here too.

21:52SPEAKERI'm gonna hit that just to make sure we're dotting our I's

21:55SPEAKERand crossing our T's.

21:55SPEAKERIt's very serious business.

21:58SPEAKEROh.

22:01SPEAKEROh, that one's good.

22:03SPEAKER- Yeah, it's pretty good.

22:07SPEAKER- I don't like the chime though.

22:08SPEAKER- Yeah, that's an A or a B for me.

22:11SPEAKER- I think that's a B probably.

22:12SPEAKER- Yeah, yes, that sounds exactly right.

22:14SPEAKER- I'm gonna go and say, I think the Game Boy Advance,

22:17SPEAKERthe Game Boy Color, a definite regression to the Game Boy.

22:22SPEAKER- I don't know how they were implementing that sound,

22:23SPEAKERbut the Game Boy Advance, famous, tragically,

22:26SPEAKERfamously awful sound hardware.

22:28SPEAKERI mean awful.

22:29SPEAKER- Oh really, I didn't know that.

22:30SPEAKER- I forget, it has something to do

22:32SPEAKERwith running the sound through the CPU

22:34SPEAKERso it's incredibly low fidelity.

22:38SPEAKERLike it didn't have dedicated sound hardware.

22:39SPEAKERAnyway, that GBA is fine.

22:41SPEAKER- Famously, nobody cares about sound.

22:44SPEAKERI'll say the Game Boy Advance, I think is better

22:48SPEAKERbecause the video is really good.

22:51SPEAKERLike I--

22:52SPEAKER- Yeah, I like that animation.

22:54SPEAKERTurn it a little multicolored, letters.

22:57SPEAKER- Yeah, the letters are flying in as that chime plays,

23:00SPEAKERthat trill plays and it's pretty good as a result.

23:03SPEAKEROkay, so should we do DS now?

23:07SPEAKER- Yes.

23:08SPEAKERYeah, we're just doing all the Nintendo handhelds here.

23:10SPEAKEROne more time.

23:16SPEAKER- That's pretty good.

23:17SPEAKER- I think it is excellent in its brevity.

23:20SPEAKER- Yeah.

23:21SPEAKER- I feel like we're giving too many S's here though

23:24SPEAKERbecause my instinct is to just give that an S

23:26SPEAKERand I don't know.

23:27SPEAKER- Well, hold on, let me play the DS.

23:28SPEAKERThat's the DS, let me play the DSi now.

23:33SPEAKERSee, I think they just tarted it up for no reason.

23:36SPEAKER- Yeah, I agree.

23:39SPEAKERDSi is a weird system.

23:41SPEAKER- Yeah, all the half Nintendo systems are weird systems.

23:44SPEAKER- DSi had significantly better hardware

23:46SPEAKERthat they did nothing with and a camera.

23:48SPEAKER- Two games came out for that or something ridiculous.

23:52SPEAKERI think DS is fine.

23:54SPEAKERI don't think it's S tier though.

23:56SPEAKER- I could see it at an A.

23:58SPEAKER- I think it's fine, but it doesn't make me excited

24:01SPEAKERabout playing the system.

24:02SPEAKERIt's just like saying, hey, system's on.

24:05SPEAKER- It feels characteristic of the rest of the DS,

24:07SPEAKERif that makes sense.

24:08SPEAKERI don't know if that makes sense or not.

24:10SPEAKER- Yeah, it's workman-like.

24:11SPEAKER- It fits the vibe of the menus and the tapping

24:13SPEAKERand the touch screen and it's like a,

24:17SPEAKERit's a stylus in startup sound form.

24:19SPEAKER- Workman-like feels like an A or a B.

24:21SPEAKERI mean, a B or a C, not an A or a S.

24:25SPEAKER- I mean, I think it's pretty good.

24:27SPEAKER- Yeah, it's good.

24:27SPEAKER- It's short and fits the system well.

24:29SPEAKERI think it's an A.

24:31SPEAKER- You think it's, I think it's, I don't know, man.

24:35SPEAKERI'm not feeling it.

24:36SPEAKERLet me play it one more time.

24:40SPEAKERI mean, my immediate reaction was strongly positive, though.

24:44SPEAKER- I think because it gets out of the way so quickly,

24:48SPEAKERI think is a huge point in its favor.

24:50SPEAKER- That's true, but I mean, part of that's just a,

24:52SPEAKERthat's just a side effect of the system booting fast.

24:55SPEAKER- Yeah, well, they could have made it longer

24:56SPEAKERif they wanted to.

24:57SPEAKERThey still had the creative self-control

25:00SPEAKERto know when to call it quits.

25:01SPEAKER- Fair, Microsoft would have commissioned

25:03SPEAKERa 32-second thing for that.

25:05SPEAKER- Here's my, my question is,

25:06SPEAKERis the 3DS one meaningfully different?

25:08SPEAKERI can't remember.

25:09SPEAKER- I can play it now and see.

25:10SPEAKERI think it is.

25:16SPEAKER- 3DS has-- - That's menu music.

25:17SPEAKERThat's menu music.

25:18SPEAKER- No, no, no. - That's menu music.

25:20SPEAKER- It has a logo and everything.

25:22SPEAKERIt's all flying in.

25:22SPEAKERThere's no buttons to press.

25:24SPEAKERThis is 100% startup sound.

25:26SPEAKER- I'd swear that.

25:31SPEAKERIt sounds an awful lot like. - It seamlessly transitions

25:33SPEAKERinto a menu music, yes.

25:35SPEAKERBut there is a Nintendo 3DS logo with the two screens

25:39SPEAKERand the red three and some bubbles coming in from the side

25:42SPEAKERthat coincide with the little,

25:44SPEAKERthe pops and the fizzes in there.

25:46SPEAKER- I'm watching it myself now.

25:48SPEAKERI had to remind myself.

25:49SPEAKERYeah, okay, fine.

25:50SPEAKERYou're right, you're right.

25:52SPEAKERThat is my error.

25:53SPEAKERI thought, I was thinking that the menu

25:55SPEAKERwas already on the screen by the time you heard that.

25:57SPEAKER- Nope, I'll give you the Wii 'cause you're right.

25:59SPEAKERThe menu was on the screen by the time you hear the sound.

26:01SPEAKER- No, you're right.

26:02SPEAKEROkay, sure.

26:03SPEAKERIt sounds like a B.

26:05SPEAKER- Yeah, B's good.

26:06SPEAKERB sounds good.

26:07SPEAKER- I think that's fine.

26:07SPEAKER- It's not, it's like if you said,

26:10SPEAKER"Hey, I'll pay you a million dollars

26:11SPEAKERif you could hum the 3DS song right now."

26:14SPEAKERAnd I just listened to it 45 seconds before.

26:17SPEAKERI'm not sure I could do it.

26:18SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah, sure.

26:19SPEAKERYes, I've already forgotten it actually.

26:22SPEAKERBut it's fine.

26:25SPEAKERIt's kind of unhummable.

26:27SPEAKER- Yeah, it is unhummable.

26:27SPEAKER- Now that you mention it.

26:28SPEAKER- We should do that.

26:29SPEAKERWe should do a show where we just walk around

26:31SPEAKERand be like, "Hey, do you like games?"

26:33SPEAKER- You ever had a 3DS?

26:34SPEAKERGive you a million dollars if you play the,

26:36SPEAKERif you can hum the 3DS startup sound.

26:38SPEAKER- I don't have a million dollars to give them.

26:39SPEAKER- That's the thing.

26:40SPEAKERWe have to get 50 bucks from each of them.

26:41SPEAKERThen every 20,000, we have a million bucks.

26:43SPEAKER- Sure.

26:44SPEAKER- Perfect.

26:45SPEAKERThis is an unstoppable scheme.

26:47SPEAKER- This is a great plan.

26:48SPEAKERI think we have to do the two PlayStation portables now.

26:51SPEAKER- I think that's fair.

26:52SPEAKERYou know what I didn't think to look up

26:54SPEAKERis see if there were different sounds for the PS Go

26:56SPEAKERand the PSP and the other variants.

26:59SPEAKER- I don't remember.

27:01SPEAKERI never had a PS Go.

27:04SPEAKER- Okay, so here's the PSP startup sound, the original one.

27:09SPEAKER- So good.

27:13SPEAKERThere it is.

27:14SPEAKER- Okay, yeah, there's two.

27:16SPEAKER- So it's the PS one, PS two thing again

27:19SPEAKERof the second sound is for booting the game.

27:22SPEAKER- What, really?

27:23SPEAKER- Yeah, do it again.

27:24SPEAKER- There's the system boot.

27:25SPEAKER- Yep.

27:28SPEAKER- And that's the game boot.

27:29SPEAKER- Yeah, and it took it a second to read the UMD

27:32SPEAKERand get the game going, so there was a little pause there.

27:34SPEAKER- Definitely took a second for that.

27:37SPEAKER- I think that is solid S tier.

27:40SPEAKER- The number one comment on this video

27:44SPEAKERis don't cry because it's over,

27:46SPEAKERsmile because it happened, Dr. Seuss.

27:48SPEAKER- PSP is another one of those very beloved systems.

27:52SPEAKER- I mean, I played so much Lumines on that thing.

27:53SPEAKER- Yep, it's one of the best games ever made.

27:55SPEAKER- It's the only thing I ever played on my PSP, really.

27:58SPEAKER- That's not true, I have a bunch of PSP games.

28:00SPEAKER- I have a deep love for the PSP,

28:03SPEAKERbut a lot of that was about the other factors

28:07SPEAKERin my life at the time.

28:09SPEAKER- Was that when you moved to San Francisco

28:10SPEAKERand were riding the bus to work every day?

28:11SPEAKER- It was like the year after I moved out here

28:13SPEAKERto work at GameSpot, and I went to Vegas,

28:15SPEAKERI went to the CES Sony press conference reveal of the PSP,

28:19SPEAKERI was like, I was deep into games coverage,

28:22SPEAKERbut the novelty had not worn off yet at that point,

28:25SPEAKERand it was just like, man, this thing is everything

28:27SPEAKERI love about sleek, advanced video game technology.

28:32SPEAKER- See, that's when I started getting into transcoding video

28:35SPEAKER'cause I got a PSP and I was like, oh, hell yeah,

28:37SPEAKERI'm gonna rip DVDs and put 'em on this thing.

28:40SPEAKER- I had somebody ask me on a plane one time

28:42SPEAKERlike what I was doing when I was watching,

28:44SPEAKERI think it was the prestige on that thing.

28:46SPEAKER- Oh yeah, it's the way he wanted the prestige

28:50SPEAKERto be watched, too. - Of course, yeah.

28:53SPEAKERIf I'm not mistaken, to this day,

28:54SPEAKERthat's still the only way I've seen the prestige.

28:56SPEAKERBut I should probably watch that movie again.

28:58SPEAKERBut you're right, that was way ahead of the iPhone curve

29:02SPEAKERin portable video on a portable device,

29:05SPEAKERand I full on remember downloading some Windows software

29:09SPEAKERthat I don't remember to encode a version of that movie

29:12SPEAKERto fit on PSP.

29:13SPEAKER- That was when I started using Handbrake.

29:15SPEAKERAnd honestly, if they hadn't fucked up

29:19SPEAKERand used memory sticks, that thing would have been

29:22SPEAKERa juggernaut for watching pirated and ripped video.

29:26SPEAKERAnyway. - Yep.

29:27SPEAKERGreat startup sound.

29:29SPEAKER- Great startup sound.

29:30SPEAKERHere's, I'm gonna play--

29:33SPEAKER- I can't even remember what the Vita one sounds like,

29:34SPEAKERwhich tells you how much Vita I've played in my life.

29:37SPEAKER- I'm gonna type in PSP Go.

29:40SPEAKER- Oh, I don't-- - Just to make sure

29:42SPEAKERit's not different.

29:43SPEAKER- I don't think it was different, but I could be wrong.

29:47SPEAKER- Here is a PlayStation PSP Go boot up.

29:53SPEAKEROh.

29:55SPEAKER- Is that, I'm sure that's right.

29:57SPEAKER- It's a picture of it on the screen.

30:00SPEAKEROh, that was the place,

30:01SPEAKERit was when you're playing a PlayStation game.

30:03SPEAKER- Oh yeah, yeah, yes.

30:05SPEAKER- Here's a PSP Go startup video.

30:14SPEAKERI think it's the same.

30:14SPEAKER- Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the same.

30:18SPEAKERObviously, that's-- - Tight little package.

30:19SPEAKEROkay, I think the PSP, pretty high on the list for me.

30:25SPEAKER- PSP?

30:26SPEAKER- PSP. - Yeah, it's an S, absolutely.

30:28SPEAKER100%. - You think it's an S?

30:29SPEAKER- Yeah, absolutely.

30:31SPEAKER- I'm gonna play it again. - Listen to that thing.

30:33SPEAKER- Okay, let's hear it again.

30:34SPEAKER("Jaws" theme music)

30:36SPEAKEROkay, that's pretty good.

30:37SPEAKER- So pleasant.

30:40SPEAKERAnd that sounds like that game startup sound

30:42SPEAKERjust sounds like a sunny day full of possibility.

30:44SPEAKER- I don't know that I count,

30:45SPEAKERI don't think I'm gonna count the game startup sound.

30:47SPEAKERWe're talking about console startup sounds here.

30:50SPEAKERRight? - I think it's all the same.

30:51SPEAKERI think that they blend together enough

30:53SPEAKERand also 99% of the time you were starting the system

30:57SPEAKERwith a game in it already.

30:58SPEAKER- Yeah, but if we're not gonna count

31:00SPEAKERthe Wii's menu start sound,

31:02SPEAKERthen once the game's in, then it's a game, not a console.

31:05SPEAKER- But that's non-interactive though.

31:07SPEAKERIt's not like you're in a menu when that sound plays.

31:09SPEAKERIt's still part of the startup process.

31:13SPEAKER- I don't know about that.

31:14SPEAKER("Jaws" theme music)

31:16SPEAKERAre we counting the EA Sports that's in the game

31:20SPEAKERat the start of my PlayStation 2?

31:22SPEAKERBecause I had SSX Tricky in there.

31:24SPEAKER- That's part of the game.

31:25SPEAKER- I don't know, man. - It's a part of the system.

31:28SPEAKER- And I should also hook up my PS2

31:29SPEAKERand play SSX Tricky, that game owns it.

31:32SPEAKERPSP startup sound I think is an S.

31:34SPEAKERI can get behind that.

31:35SPEAKER- That's great.

31:36SPEAKER- Okay, so let's hear, you wanna hear the Vita now?

31:37SPEAKER- Sure.

31:39SPEAKER- This is the PS Vita startup 2012.

31:45SPEAKEROkay, it shows the logo.

31:46SPEAKEROh, okay, so that whole thing, it plays.

31:51SPEAKERIt shows the PS logo, and then it shows Sony make believe,

31:56SPEAKERand then it plays OneNote.

31:59SPEAKER- I have no memory of this at all.

32:03SPEAKER- That's it, and then it says Sony Computer Entertainment,

32:05SPEAKERand then it goes to the menu.

32:06SPEAKER- I don't know if that even counts.

32:08SPEAKER- I think this is a D tier.

32:09SPEAKERMaybe we need to open an F tier up for this one.

32:11SPEAKER- Or Vita.

32:13SPEAKER- This might be worse than that Apple thing,

32:18SPEAKERthe bad Apple thing that was at the bottom

32:19SPEAKERof the pile before.

32:21SPEAKER- Is it literally that one piano note?

32:22SPEAKER- That one piano note, it's the make believe.

32:25SPEAKERThis is from the make believe era of Sony.

32:27SPEAKERThis is the bad times.

32:28SPEAKER- There's something bold about a single note.

32:31SPEAKER- Yeah.

32:33SPEAKER- But also I don't like the Vita, so.

32:36SPEAKER- I like the Vita. - Sure, I do not.

32:37SPEAKERI think I spent more time just like installing games

32:41SPEAKERon the Vita and configuring it

32:43SPEAKERthan I ever did actually playing games on.

32:44SPEAKERWell, there were a few, but I think it may be Rogue Legacy,

32:47SPEAKERlike some of those.

32:48SPEAKER- Yeah, I played a lot of Rogue Legacy and Spelunky.

32:50SPEAKERThat was in the era of their buy it once

32:53SPEAKERand get it on PS4 and Vita.

32:57SPEAKERI think I maybe did play some indie games

32:59SPEAKERon it a fair amount, but like.

33:01SPEAKER- That was an indie game console for me, 100%.

33:03SPEAKER- Vita was a very underexploited piece of hardware, I think.

33:07SPEAKER- Tear down was pretty good.

33:09SPEAKER- Anyway, tear away.

33:10SPEAKER- Tear away, tear down's a different thing.

33:12SPEAKER- Yeah.

33:13SPEAKER- Okay, should we go forward in time some more?

33:17SPEAKERYou wanna do more consoles, you wanna do more Windowses?

33:20SPEAKERWhy don't we knock out the rest of the Windowses?

33:22SPEAKER- Okay, this should be easy.

33:25SPEAKER- I don't really even think of modern Windows

33:28SPEAKERas having a startup sound, so what do we have here?

33:30SPEAKER- Well, they're in there.

33:32SPEAKEROkay, so the irony is that on modern Windows,

33:35SPEAKERmy Windows 11 machine rarely plays the startup sound

33:38SPEAKEReven though it's there,

33:40SPEAKERbecause it instantiates the USB audio

33:43SPEAKERafter the sound replay, I think is what's happening.

33:45SPEAKER- Interesting.

33:46SPEAKER- Typical Microsoft shenaniganry.

33:50SPEAKERBy the way, this is completely fucked up,

33:51SPEAKERmy YouTube algorithm, it has no idea what to do with me

33:54SPEAKERdownloading 300 different startup sounds

33:56SPEAKERover the last three days.

33:58SPEAKER- I think you mean it has tremendously improved

34:00SPEAKERyour YouTube algorithm.

34:01SPEAKER- No, here's 25 hours of Windows 95 ASMR video

34:06SPEAKERthat I don't need in my life.

34:08SPEAKEROkay, so this is the Windows Vista startup sound.

34:10SPEAKER(chiming)

34:13SPEAKER- Oh yeah, of course, yes.

34:15SPEAKER- I think, like the Windows ME startup sound,

34:18SPEAKERthis might be the best part of Windows Vista.

34:20SPEAKER- Yeah, I would agree with that.

34:21SPEAKERIt's like a solid B, I think.

34:24SPEAKER- I'd even maybe go as high as A on this one.

34:26SPEAKER- I could see it.

34:28SPEAKER- Like it has like this flute thing,

34:30SPEAKERor clarinet maybe at the beginning,

34:31SPEAKERI don't know what that is, and then the chimes,

34:32SPEAKERand it sounds like rain.

34:34SPEAKER- It's highly ethereal.

34:37SPEAKER- Yeah.

34:38SPEAKER- And pleasant.

34:40SPEAKER- It's very of the time.

34:42SPEAKERIt sounds green, green is the color of Vista.

34:45SPEAKER- It sounds like Aero looks, is what it is actually.

34:49SPEAKERAero being the visual motif of Windows Vista.

34:53SPEAKER- But they could have gone with some tinkly sounds,

34:55SPEAKERlike a modern Star Trek transporter, and they didn't.

34:58SPEAKERBut I respect that.

34:59SPEAKER- Aero's like smooth glass though,

35:00SPEAKERand that sounded smooth.

35:03SPEAKER- Yeah, it's really good.

35:04SPEAKER- Okay, sure, yeah, I will.

35:06SPEAKERAnd then Windows 7 has the same sound, it appears.

35:09SPEAKER- I'm gonna play it again, just to make sure,

35:11SPEAKERbut I think so, yeah.

35:12SPEAKER- The notes here say that Windows 7 same as Vista,

35:14SPEAKERwhich, let's be real, Windows 7 is just better Vista.

35:17SPEAKER- Right?

35:18SPEAKER- Yep, same as Vista.

35:20SPEAKER- Yep.

35:21SPEAKER- Shout outs to Windows 7, getting it right.

35:23SPEAKER- Windows 8 and 10 apparently have the same sound.

35:26SPEAKER- Yeah, the 8 and 10 have the same,

35:28SPEAKERthis is the log on sound,

35:29SPEAKERso you might wanna disqualify this, mister,

35:31SPEAKERI suddenly believe in rules.

35:32SPEAKER- Let's see, I'll be the judge of that.

35:34SPEAKER(piano music)

35:36SPEAKER- I don't think I've ever heard that before.

35:38SPEAKER- Yeah, I think, couple more times.

35:40SPEAKER- Yeah.

35:41SPEAKER(piano music)

35:43SPEAKER- Hmm.

35:44SPEAKER- One more.

35:45SPEAKER(piano music)

35:47SPEAKER- I kinda like that.

35:49SPEAKER- I wish I heard this more.

35:50SPEAKER- I don't think I've ever heard it before in context.

35:53SPEAKER- I don't think I've ever heard it,

35:55SPEAKERunless I maybe sought it out.

35:57SPEAKER(piano music)

35:59SPEAKERYou know what's sad?

36:00SPEAKER- That's pretty good.

36:01SPEAKER- We'll get to this in a minute.

36:02SPEAKERI think this one's okay, I think it's a B.

36:03SPEAKER- That's a B, sure, yeah, that's a B.

36:05SPEAKERWe'll call that the Windows 8 sound.

36:07SPEAKER- Yeah, Windows 8 and 10, same thing.

36:10SPEAKERAre you into Windows 11?

36:11SPEAKER- Sure.

36:13SPEAKER- Did you know that there's a Windows 11 startup sound?

36:15SPEAKER- Absolutely not.

36:16SPEAKER- Yeah.

36:17SPEAKER(piano music)

36:19SPEAKER- Oh wait, no, yes, I've heard that a million times.

36:21SPEAKERI guess I do hear that all the time.

36:23SPEAKER- So this is the pre-release leak

36:26SPEAKERof the Windows 11 startup sound?

36:28SPEAKER- Yeah, but I hear that, I guess every day?

36:30SPEAKERIf my speakers are on, I do.

36:32SPEAKER- If your speakers are on, yeah.

36:33SPEAKERThe problem is my headphones are never on

36:34SPEAKERwhen I turn on the computer, and I don't have speakers.

36:37SPEAKER- I do hear that frequently, it's okay.

36:42SPEAKER- There's nothing remarkable, it's not offensive,

36:44SPEAKERbut it's not a B or a C to me.

36:47SPEAKER- Okay, here's another one, it's the same one.

36:49SPEAKER- It's okay.

36:51SPEAKER- Yeah, I think it's inoffensive at best.

36:55SPEAKER- And I would give it a B.

36:56SPEAKER- The thing I found is that Windows 11 no longer

36:59SPEAKERhas an option to set your own startup sound.

37:02SPEAKERYou can turn the startup sound on and off

37:04SPEAKERin the sound control panel,

37:06SPEAKERbut you can't put your own thing in there anymore.

37:09SPEAKER- That's terrible.

37:10SPEAKER- So you can't have like five minutes of Waluigi farting

37:14SPEAKERor whatever nonsense you want in there anymore.

37:16SPEAKER- I'm demoting it to a C for that reason.

37:18SPEAKERAlso, I think the Windows 8 one is better and that's a B.

37:21SPEAKER- I think the Windows 8 and Windows Vista/7 ones

37:24SPEAKERare both better.

37:25SPEAKERDo we put Vista and 7 at A?

37:27SPEAKER- Vista is at A.

37:28SPEAKER- Okay, perfect.

37:30SPEAKER- Windows 8 is at B, which seems right to me.

37:33SPEAKER- Should we do a recap?

37:34SPEAKER'Cause we haven't done that in a minute.

37:36SPEAKER- Sure.

37:37SPEAKER- What our tiers are.

37:38SPEAKER- There's a lot here.

37:39SPEAKERS tier is Macintosh, Windows 95, Dreamcast, GameCube,

37:43SPEAKERoriginal Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Game Boy, and PSP.

37:48SPEAKER- Okay.

37:49SPEAKER- A tier is PlayStation 1, Windows 3.1, Japanese Saturn,

37:53SPEAKERWindows XP, Nintendo DS, and Windows Vista.

37:58SPEAKERB tier is the ARM Macintosh, PlayStation 5, Windows NT 4.0,

38:04SPEAKERWindows ME, Game Boy Advance, 3DS, and Windows 8.

38:09SPEAKERC tier is, oh, they are different, aren't they?

38:13SPEAKERWindows 3.1.1, Saturn US, the high Saturn, PlayStation 2,

38:20SPEAKERthe Kinect Xbox 360 update, and Windows 11.

38:23SPEAKERD is the Apple E-Mate, original Xbox, Windows 98,

38:27SPEAKERand PlayStation Vita.

38:28SPEAKER- We're gonna get a lot of hate about that Windows 98 one.

38:30SPEAKERI think people like the Windows 98 ones.

38:33SPEAKER- And there's no accounting for taste.

38:34SPEAKER- That's true.

38:36SPEAKER- That's all I can say.

38:38SPEAKER- Do you wanna go back up to consoles?

38:39SPEAKER- Yeah, I think we could,

38:40SPEAKERcan we just do the rest of the consoles?

38:42SPEAKER'Cause these are all practically nothing to me

38:45SPEAKERwith a couple of exceptions. - Wow.

38:46SPEAKER- I mean, there's just not much there is what I mean.

38:48SPEAKERLike this is the era where the console boot up animation

38:52SPEAKERkind of went out of fashion fully.

38:54SPEAKER- They still put them in.

38:56SPEAKERThey kept putting them in there.

38:57SPEAKER- Well, okay, let's see what we got.

38:58SPEAKER- Okay, Xbox One is I guess where I'm gonna start.

39:02SPEAKER- Sure.

39:03SPEAKER- PS4, Xbox One came out within like a month of each other.

39:05SPEAKER- Yeah, like within a week.

39:06SPEAKER- Yeah.

39:08SPEAKER(dramatic music)

39:10SPEAKER- Oh, we did still have that, right?

39:13SPEAKERI guess.

39:14SPEAKER- Yeah.

39:15SPEAKER- Was that at launch?

39:15SPEAKERI don't remember 'cause they did update that thing over time.

39:19SPEAKER- This has the green background.

39:21SPEAKER- Oh, right.

39:22SPEAKER- GameSpot says this is the one from 2013.

39:25SPEAKER- Okay, you're right.

39:26SPEAKERI do remember that.

39:27SPEAKERI think this was the point where it felt like

39:29SPEAKERthe console boot up animation was basically

39:33SPEAKERjust what they used on the commercials,

39:34SPEAKERwhich felt shitty. - I was gonna say, yeah.

39:36SPEAKER- It's just the brand ID from the commercials at this point.

39:39SPEAKER- It felt kinda gross at that point.

39:42SPEAKER- I think this one's fine.

39:43SPEAKERI think this has none of the charm of the Xbox 360

39:46SPEAKERand none of the weird grunge of the Xbox,

39:50SPEAKERof the original Xbox.

39:51SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah.

39:53SPEAKER- Where did we put the original Xbox?

39:54SPEAKER- Original Xbox is a D.

39:57SPEAKER- I think, you know what? - This is like a C.

39:59SPEAKER- I think the original Xbox should be a C

40:01SPEAKERand this should be a D.

40:03SPEAKER- Mm, I don't know, ah!

40:05SPEAKER- It's short, there's no uplifting,

40:09SPEAKERthere's nothing making me excited about using this.

40:14SPEAKER- Sure, oops, yeah, I can get behind that.

40:18SPEAKER- You must've removed it, Windows 11

40:20SPEAKERfrom the list entirely there.

40:22SPEAKEROkay, so next up is the PS4, I guess?

40:25SPEAKER'Cause the Wii U came out like the next spring,

40:28SPEAKERI think, right?

40:30SPEAKER- No, Wii U came out before the PS4.

40:32SPEAKER- Oh, okay, so then I guess we should do the Wii U next.

40:35SPEAKERIt's good that you remember this stuff.

40:36SPEAKER- I don't remember the Wii U sound.

40:38SPEAKER- Well, so the other thing that happened at this period

40:41SPEAKERis that this is when the console

40:42SPEAKERstarted staying on all the time.

40:44SPEAKERSo we started having consoles that would suspend

40:47SPEAKERand you didn't boot them very often,

40:50SPEAKERso you didn't ever hear the boot sounds anymore.

40:52SPEAKER- Yes, Wii U did not, though.

40:55SPEAKER- Here we go. - I think Wii U

40:56SPEAKERwas the last console that did not suspend.

40:58SPEAKER(computer beeping)

41:02SPEAKER- Logo's still on the screen, no menus.

41:04SPEAKER- Is it?

41:05SPEAKER- Yeah. - It was on the controller,

41:07SPEAKERthough, is the question.

41:08SPEAKER- But that's impossible to say

41:09SPEAKER'cause you couldn't capture that thing.

41:11SPEAKER- I think the controller may very well,

41:13SPEAKERthat is menu music or sound in my memory,

41:17SPEAKERbut I could be wrong.

41:19SPEAKER(computer beeping)

41:21SPEAKER- That's a startup sound right there.

41:23SPEAKERAnd that hits as it transitions from Nintendo to Wii U.

41:28SPEAKER- I guess so.

41:30SPEAKERMan.

41:31SPEAKER- It's real ping-pong-y.

41:33SPEAKER- Yeah, you're right, okay, you're right, yeah.

41:37SPEAKER- I think this one's pretty good.

41:38SPEAKER- It's okay.

41:39SPEAKER- It's no Wii startup sound. - It's okay.

41:43SPEAKERWii doesn't have a startup sound.

41:44SPEAKERWe've established this.

41:45SPEAKER- The disqualified, wronged, horribly wronged.

41:49SPEAKER- I mean, you can't be disqualified

41:51SPEAKERwhen you're not eligible in the first place.

41:52SPEAKER- Oh boy, here we go.

41:54SPEAKER- That's a C.

41:55SPEAKER- I think this is at least a B, maybe an A.

41:58SPEAKER- Okay, B at best.

42:01SPEAKERIt feels way too reminiscent of the Wii.

42:03SPEAKER- Long standing game spot, anti-Nintendo bias here.

42:07SPEAKER- Yep, that's right.

42:09SPEAKERNo, I like the Wii.

42:10SPEAKERI still have my Wii U hooked up.

42:12SPEAKER- Oh, you didn't get a Wii, but you got a Wii U.

42:14SPEAKERI forgot, yeah.

42:15SPEAKER- Oh, the Wii U played Wii games.

42:17SPEAKER- That's true.

42:18SPEAKER- The Wii U is just a super set of the Wii.

42:21SPEAKER- And you could plug your GameCube controllers

42:23SPEAKERinto that thing too. - That's right, yep.

42:25SPEAKERAnd these days you can hack it to play GameCube games.

42:28SPEAKER- Really? - Oh yeah.

42:30SPEAKER- I didn't know that.

42:33SPEAKER- Okay, so Wii U is a B, we said?

42:38SPEAKER- Yeah, I will concede that one.

42:40SPEAKER- Okay, okay, generous, so generous of you.

42:42SPEAKERYou wanna do PS4 next?

42:44SPEAKER- Yeah, but is there literally anything at all?

42:47SPEAKER- Well, you're gonna have to listen.

42:50SPEAKER- Oh, I know where this is going.

42:53SPEAKERI know where you're going with this.

42:54SPEAKER- Okay, it's playing.

42:55SPEAKERPlayStation logo's up.

42:56SPEAKER- Yeah, right.

42:58SPEAKERThat's fairy telling, isn't it?

43:00SPEAKER- Is PlayStation logo still up?

43:04SPEAKERNow it says welcome back to PlayStation.

43:05SPEAKER- That's menu and login music.

43:07SPEAKERThat music continues after you log in.

43:09SPEAKERThat music plays forever.

43:11SPEAKER- But.

43:12SPEAKER- When you're signed in.

43:14SPEAKER- This thing, that's a startup sound right there.

43:17SPEAKER- It's not, that's the menu music.

43:19SPEAKER- You're not on the menu.

43:21SPEAKERYou're on the welcome back to PlayStation at that point.

43:23SPEAKER- Yeah, but again, it seamlessly transitions

43:25SPEAKERinto playing forever in the menus.

43:27SPEAKER- But like we're, look.

43:29SPEAKER- I don't think it counts personally.

43:30SPEAKER- I don't think, what was the other one

43:32SPEAKERthat we had that had a seamless transition

43:35SPEAKERand we allowed it?

43:38SPEAKERI can't remember, maybe PS5?

43:39SPEAKER- PS5 is the one you're talking about.

43:40SPEAKERThat one is a little more discreet.

43:43SPEAKER- This is a startup ass startup sound right here.

43:48SPEAKER- I'll give it to you.

43:50SPEAKERI don't agree, 'cause again, that music just,

43:52SPEAKERit just keeps playing forever.

43:55SPEAKER- But then it goes into just a, like a hum at the end.

43:58SPEAKERIt doesn't, there's.

44:00SPEAKERAnd then you also have that.

44:03SPEAKER- I think this is a startup sound.

44:05SPEAKERI think this is.

44:06SPEAKER- All right, fine.

44:07SPEAKER- Like if you're gonna say anything, it's too spread out.

44:09SPEAKER- Okay, yeah, okay, sure.

44:11SPEAKER- 'Cause they have that opening bit.

44:12SPEAKERThey don't have anything when the PS logo's up,

44:14SPEAKERwhich is like minus several million points for me.

44:17SPEAKER- This sounds like a C to me.

44:19SPEAKER- Yeah, I'll take, I'll give it a C.

44:20SPEAKER- C's good.

44:22SPEAKEROkay, fine.

44:23SPEAKER- Okay.

44:24SPEAKER- Xbox One X, this is a weird one.

44:26SPEAKER- See, these are all consoles that you were like,

44:28SPEAKERoh, these don't have startup sounds.

44:29SPEAKER- No, the Xbox One X 100% does.

44:31SPEAKER- Yeah. - It's hilarious.

44:33SPEAKER- Okay, I don't know if you've ever heard this one before.

44:35SPEAKER- The One X is the PlayStation 4 Pro equivalent.

44:38SPEAKERYou know, it was the souped up Xbox

44:40SPEAKERthat came out mid-generation.

44:42SPEAKER- Yeah, no, I remember.

44:43SPEAKERI just want to shout out GameStop.

44:45SPEAKERI think this is a Lucy video from like five years ago

44:49SPEAKERthat nobody else actually captured.

44:52SPEAKERThere's a million videos of people pointing their phone

44:54SPEAKERat their TV and capturing Xbox startup sounds,

44:57SPEAKERand hardly anybody actually captured them.

44:59SPEAKERSo thank you for doing the work over there.

45:01SPEAKER- Yep.

45:03SPEAKER- I think this one's very funny because, yeah,

45:08SPEAKERit's so long.

45:10SPEAKERLike there's this- - And then it goes

45:11SPEAKERto the brand ID.

45:12SPEAKER- There's this long ass animation.

45:14SPEAKERYou can't see it listening to an audio podcast

45:16SPEAKERof like the SOC inside the Xbox One X.

45:19SPEAKER- Yeah, this is great.

45:21SPEAKER- They full-on built a video into this thing

45:23SPEAKERthat just shows you like hardware inside the Xbox.

45:26SPEAKER- And the chip has 4K written on it,

45:28SPEAKERjust like every 4K chip does.

45:29SPEAKER- And then it like, there's like,

45:30SPEAKERaren't there some like swooshy or exploding

45:33SPEAKERenergy kind of effects? - Yeah, there's

45:34SPEAKERparticle effects coming towards you.

45:37SPEAKER- It's very grandiose.

45:38SPEAKERIt's very, hey, you just bought the most powerful console

45:40SPEAKERon the planet.

45:41SPEAKER- Oh, it's, they show the traces going into the chip

45:45SPEAKERand then the light explodes out of the SOC.

45:49SPEAKERIt's pretty good.

45:50SPEAKERBut as an audio thing, it's not solid C tier.

45:54SPEAKER- It's just a woosh followed by the standard Xbox One

45:58SPEAKERand a brand ID stinger.

45:59SPEAKER- It does have the upswing, the lift though.

46:03SPEAKER- Yeah.

46:06SPEAKERI mean, that's just the same at the end.

46:08SPEAKER- Following with the normal brand stingers

46:09SPEAKERkind of feels like weak sauce.

46:10SPEAKER- Is this even distinct enough to rank?

46:13SPEAKERI guess it is.

46:13SPEAKER- Oh, I think this has to be ranked, yeah.

46:15SPEAKER- But again, the sound at the end is the same

46:17SPEAKERas the regular Xbox One.

46:19SPEAKER- Yeah, I think this is like a C or a D maybe.

46:21SPEAKERI don't know.

46:22SPEAKER- So your regular Xbox One is a D.

46:26SPEAKERI will give this one a bump for being funny.

46:30SPEAKER- It's weird that they decided to show

46:32SPEAKERthe guts of the computer.

46:34SPEAKER- Yeah.

46:36SPEAKER- And it looks like they used an actual chip

46:38SPEAKER'cause it has like all the little guys

46:40SPEAKERon the side of it and everything.

46:42SPEAKERIt's a weird choice.

46:43SPEAKER- Much like the PS3, I will award points for,

46:47SPEAKERif not arrogance, at least audacity.

46:49SPEAKER- Doing something weird?

46:51SPEAKER- Well, not weird so much as self-important.

46:55SPEAKER- Fair.

46:56SPEAKER- Because again, this is very much going,

46:57SPEAKERhey, look at the insanely powerful hardware

46:59SPEAKERin this console you just bought.

47:01SPEAKER- So what's next, the Switch probably?

47:03SPEAKER- Yeah, there's nothing there.

47:06SPEAKER- Hold on.

47:07SPEAKERThis is where we're in the brand ID

47:10SPEAKERor startup sound category again.

47:12SPEAKERSo here it is, seven seconds.

47:13SPEAKER- Oh, wait, hang on.

47:16SPEAKER- Yeah?

47:17SPEAKER- Are we literally, I mean, are you playing it?

47:19SPEAKER- No, I haven't started yet.

47:21SPEAKER- Reason I said, are we literally considering the snap

47:23SPEAKERas the startup sound here?

47:25SPEAKER- That's the startup sound.

47:26SPEAKER- Well, it doesn't even do it every time though.

47:28SPEAKER- Does it?

47:29SPEAKER- Does it not?

47:30SPEAKER- No, it absolutely does not.

47:32SPEAKERAlso, I don't know what that is,

47:34SPEAKERbut that is not.

47:34SPEAKER- That's the first place.

47:35SPEAKERThe first time you set up a new Switch,

47:37SPEAKERyou get that sound and then never again.

47:38SPEAKER- Yeah, that's a different thing,

47:40SPEAKERbut it does not even make the snap.

47:41SPEAKER'Cause I just set up my Switch 2.

47:44SPEAKER- Well, that's a Switch 2, that's a different console.

47:45SPEAKER- Yeah, but I'm saying they both,

47:47SPEAKERthey do the snap on initial setup.

47:48SPEAKERLike you get the red screen with the logo snapping

47:51SPEAKERand the sound effect on first boot, first configuration.

47:55SPEAKERForever after it is just white Nintendo logo

47:57SPEAKERon black background with no sound.

47:59SPEAKER- Boo.

48:00SPEAKER- No, no, like does not qualify.

48:03SPEAKERNothing there.

48:04SPEAKER- Wow, okay, so I guess-

48:06SPEAKER- What happened to the Nintendo that made the GameCube?

48:08SPEAKER- Yeah, right?

48:09SPEAKER- Is all I can ask.

48:11SPEAKER- So I guess we don't need to talk about the Switch 2 then?

48:14SPEAKER- Nope, there's nothing there.

48:15SPEAKER- Hold on, I'm gonna do it just for clarity.

48:20SPEAKERI mean, it's like, yep.

48:23SPEAKER- I just heard that the other day.

48:25SPEAKER- That's fucking great.

48:27SPEAKER- I wish it sounds like a marching band.

48:28SPEAKER(laughs)

48:30SPEAKER- And then the way they animated all the little icons

48:32SPEAKERat the bottom of the menu.

48:33SPEAKER- It sounds like a goofy ass little toy marching band.

48:35SPEAKERIt's great.

48:36SPEAKERI found the Switch 2 onboarding to be very pleasant,

48:39SPEAKERboth in functionality and kind of aesthetic vibe.

48:42SPEAKER- Yeah, they clearly pay a lot of attention to that.

48:44SPEAKERIt's too bad they don't pay more attention

48:45SPEAKERto their startup sounds.

48:46SPEAKER- Yeah, I don't know why they stopped doing that stuff.

48:48SPEAKERI don't know, maybe they,

48:49SPEAKER'cause they think it's like a tablet/ handheld device now

48:53SPEAKERand not a game, I don't know, it doesn't make sense.

48:55SPEAKER- Okay, so I guess we're on our last console device now,

48:58SPEAKERthe Xbox Series X.

49:01SPEAKER- Yeah, which is okay, it's all right.

49:05SPEAKERLet's have it.

49:06SPEAKER(dramatic music)

49:13SPEAKERIt's a little too long for what it's doing.

49:15SPEAKERJust a tad.

49:16SPEAKER- I think it's covering boot.

49:17SPEAKEROh, there was Lucy, sorry.

49:23SPEAKERI think this is better than everything but the Xbox 360.

49:27SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah, sure, yes, I can get behind that.

49:29SPEAKERI think it's pretty good.

49:30SPEAKERLike I said, it's just a little too,

49:31SPEAKERit overstays its welcome just a bit.

49:33SPEAKER- Look, we're hard on the Xbox here.

49:35SPEAKERWe don't have any, the Xbox 360 is an S tier

49:38SPEAKERand then everything else is C or D.

49:40SPEAKER- Like the 360 is the one generation

49:42SPEAKERwhere they have like a really strong,

49:44SPEAKERunified, likable brand identity.

49:47SPEAKER- I think this is a B probably, right?

49:50SPEAKER- Yeah, sure, sure, yeah.

49:51SPEAKER- 'Cause it's better than that Kinect one.

49:54SPEAKERAnd it's definitely better than the One X, which is weird.

49:56SPEAKER- Yep, yep, it's not bad.

49:59SPEAKERIt's okay, I was happy to see it, I'll put it that way.

50:02SPEAKERWhen I got a Series X, I was happy to see

50:04SPEAKERthat they had brought back some kind

50:05SPEAKERof visual flair and sound.

50:07SPEAKER- A thing that makes you excited to turn on your console.

50:11SPEAKER- So we're done with consoles

50:12SPEAKERexcept that I pasted the analog.

50:14SPEAKER- Oh, you wanna pop those in here?

50:15SPEAKERI don't know if these should be official tier lists rankings.

50:19SPEAKER- Well, just, dude, they got fucking people

50:21SPEAKERfor these though.

50:23SPEAKER- Yeah, but I feel like getting people

50:28SPEAKERfor these is a little bit of a niche, like, you know?

50:32SPEAKER- It's very analog, it's very analog

50:34SPEAKERto go find like famous chip, oh, Square,

50:37SPEAKERthey got fucking Square Pusher.

50:38SPEAKER- Square Pusher and Phil, Jesus Christ.

50:40SPEAKER- Phil Fish did the animation,

50:41SPEAKERSquare Pusher did the sound for the Super NT.

50:44SPEAKER(electronic music)

50:49SPEAKER(electronic music)

50:51SPEAKER- Goddamn, that's good.

50:52SPEAKER- That's good, that's good.

50:54SPEAKER- I think this is a whole different league though.

50:56SPEAKER- Yeah, I don't, you absolutely don't have

51:00SPEAKERto hand it the analog, I will say.

51:02SPEAKER- No.

51:03SPEAKER- But that's really good.

51:06SPEAKER- Like this is a thing, this is the thing

51:08SPEAKERyou're not gonna get from your Mr. is all I'm saying.

51:10SPEAKER- No, definitely not.

51:11SPEAKER- Although I bet you could probably download the video

51:13SPEAKERand then play it on your Mr.

51:14SPEAKERand then you do have it on your Mr.

51:16SPEAKER- It's arguably a little bit counter

51:18SPEAKERto the spirit of the SNES where you just turn it on

51:20SPEAKERand it's playing a game instantly.

51:22SPEAKER- Also, it's really long, I'm gonna play it again.

51:23SPEAKER- That's what I mean, that's it.

51:25SPEAKER(electronic music)

51:28SPEAKERIt's great, it's great, but it's perhaps

51:32SPEAKERa bit self-indulgent to be that long

51:33SPEAKERfor a console or a cartridge-based system

51:36SPEAKERwhere you're supposed to just get in there and be playing.

51:38SPEAKER- It's super good though.

51:39SPEAKER- It's very good, maybe we don't rank the analog ones

51:42SPEAKER'cause they're all different also.

51:43SPEAKER- Yeah, do you wanna do the, let's see,

51:47SPEAKERthere's the Sega mini, Mega S-G, which is the Sega one.

51:51SPEAKERYeah, here's this one. - Done by Orca,

51:52SPEAKERwho I'm not familiar with.

51:54SPEAKER(electronic music)

52:03SPEAKERIt's pretty good, also too long.

52:05SPEAKER- That's good though.

52:06SPEAKER- And I feel like I'm picking up the aesthetic preferences

52:08SPEAKERof people at analog a little bit too much here,

52:10SPEAKERlike they might be a little too into glitch art or something.

52:15SPEAKER- Maybe.

52:16SPEAKER- They're dealing here.

52:17SPEAKER- I mean, look, they hired Bill to do the graphics

52:23SPEAKERfor a reason, right?

52:25SPEAKER- Yeah.

52:26SPEAKER- It's definitely got Fez vibes,

52:27SPEAKERthe whole thing has Fez vibes.

52:29SPEAKER- Yeah, kinda, sure.

52:31SPEAKERI might've been wrong about Disaster Piece,

52:32SPEAKERI don't see them on there.

52:35SPEAKER- Yeah, I only see those two,

52:36SPEAKERI don't see any others on their list of videos.

52:38SPEAKER- Oh, there's, well, the Inti Mini I believe at the top,

52:41SPEAKERor the Mini Noir.

52:42SPEAKER- Oh, Mini Noir, okay, I'll do that one.

52:47SPEAKER- Oh.

52:56SPEAKER- That's Luke Vibert, I've never known, is it Vibert?

53:00SPEAKERI always said it, Luke Vibert,

53:01SPEAKERI don't know if it's a Vibert or something.

53:04SPEAKER- I don't know, I have no idea.

53:06SPEAKER- He's, I don't remember where I even know him from,

53:08SPEAKERhe's like a pretty old school electronic music artist

53:11SPEAKERof note, now I'm trying to find a pronunciation of his name,

53:14SPEAKER'cause I feel like an idiot if I got it wrong.

53:16SPEAKEROkay, I found a video of him saying his name,

53:17SPEAKERit is Luke Vibert.

53:19SPEAKER- Okay, perfect.

53:20SPEAKER- Anyway, like a point being analog really like went for it

53:23SPEAKERin picking people to do these sounds,

53:25SPEAKERI think they're all pretty good.

53:26SPEAKER- Yeah, I think they're all great.

53:28SPEAKER- Maybe we can do the Inti Mini Noir one more time.

53:30SPEAKER(upbeat music)

53:34SPEAKER- This is real John Carpenter vibes.

53:36SPEAKER- Kinda, yeah.

53:39SPEAKERI think all of these are like three to five seconds too long.

53:42SPEAKER- Yeah.

53:43SPEAKER- So they all need to be just a tad bit shorter,

53:45SPEAKERbut it's okay.

53:46SPEAKERAnyway, I'm gonna say let's not rank these,

53:48SPEAKERbut it's cool that analog puts this kind of effort

53:50SPEAKERinto these things.

53:51SPEAKERLike their hardware is really nice looking and sounding.

53:54SPEAKER- Agreed, I also have a handful of esoteric things.

53:57SPEAKER- Okay.

53:59SPEAKER- I grabbed the, well, BOSR4 shipped

54:03SPEAKERabout six different startup sounds.

54:05SPEAKER- Well, weird.

54:07SPEAKER- And I think you could choose, so I'm gonna play them now.

54:10SPEAKERThis is a release 4.5, I guess.

54:14SPEAKER- Yeah, is the R just release there, I assume?

54:16SPEAKER- The R is for release, yeah.

54:18SPEAKER- Whoa.

54:23SPEAKER- That one's called 12 string start, or 12 STR start.

54:26SPEAKERI assume the STR is for string.

54:28SPEAKERI'll play it one more time for you.

54:29SPEAKER- Yeah, that sounds like a 12 string situation for sure.

54:33SPEAKERYeah, cool.

54:34SPEAKER- I think it's just somebody's strummed a guitar, maybe.

54:36SPEAKER- That's pretty good.

54:37SPEAKERI like that.

54:41SPEAKER- I think that's the default one.

54:42SPEAKERThat was B startup, that last one.

54:45SPEAKER- That one's a little generic.

54:48SPEAKER- Yeah.

54:51SPEAKERThis next one is called Dark Start, I think.

54:56SPEAKERYeah, Dark Start is next.

55:01SPEAKERI like Dark Start a lot.

55:02SPEAKER- That's pretty good.

55:06SPEAKERYeah, yes, quite good.

55:08SPEAKER- Yeah.

55:10SPEAKER- This is Flang Arrival Start.

55:16SPEAKER- Do you mean flange?

55:17SPEAKER- Flange, it doesn't have an E though.

55:19SPEAKERIt's just flange.

55:19SPEAKER- Okay.

55:21SPEAKER- This is Good Vibes.

55:25SPEAKER- Yeah, this is Strong Work.

55:28SPEAKER- And this one is New World 3 and You.

55:32SPEAKER- That one's a little generic for me,

55:33SPEAKERbut I'd say like four, hang on.

55:36SPEAKER- They just keep coming.

55:37SPEAKER- How many are there?

55:39SPEAKER- There's a bunch.

55:40SPEAKER- Huh.

55:41SPEAKER- That was Rising Start.

55:42SPEAKERI don't think we should rank these,

55:43SPEAKERbut I think they're-

55:45SPEAKER- There's some strong stuff in there though.

55:46SPEAKER- Dark Start is incredible.

55:48SPEAKERDark Start, I need to pull off of a BOS disc

55:50SPEAKERand install it on my current computer.

55:52SPEAKER- Like half of those are really quality stuff, actually.

55:56SPEAKER- Well, and it makes sense

55:58SPEAKER'cause they had audio processing at an era

56:00SPEAKERwhen audio processing was a little hinky

56:02SPEAKERon the PC, especially.

56:03SPEAKER- They were all about like media production

56:05SPEAKERand playback, right?

56:07SPEAKER- Yeah, and some of those were R5s as well, it looks like.

56:09SPEAKERSo, like the Rising Start

56:11SPEAKERand I think everything after Dark Start was from R5,

56:14SPEAKERbut I'm not 100% on that.

56:15SPEAKER- Okay.

56:16SPEAKER- And then I also have OS/2 Warp 4.

56:22SPEAKER- For OS/2.

56:23SPEAKER- Which had a star sound.

56:25SPEAKER- Okay.

56:25SPEAKER- You ready?

56:26SPEAKER- I, maybe?

56:27SPEAKER- You should brace yourself.

56:28SPEAKERWe should rank this one.

56:29SPEAKER- Okay.

56:35SPEAKER- Welcome to Innatrode, home of software.

56:39SPEAKER- Wait, is that a reference I'm not getting?

56:41SPEAKER- No, it's just, it's just, it sounds like every like,

56:44SPEAKERlike if you went to a PC conference in like 1999,

56:49SPEAKERthere would be people saying,

56:51SPEAKERthere'd be a video like that

56:52SPEAKERwith like some video toaster graphics on it

56:55SPEAKERthat was like Innatrode PC software,

56:58SPEAKERwe'll turbocharge your business,

57:00SPEAKERand then it would play this sound.

57:01SPEAKER(dramatic music)

57:05SPEAKERBut it's not bad.

57:06SPEAKERIt's just very gacky.

57:07SPEAKER- It's fine, the first time I heard that

57:10SPEAKERis exactly what I expected an OS/2 startup sound like.

57:14SPEAKERIt sounds like exactly what an operating system

57:17SPEAKERmade by IBM would do.

57:19SPEAKER- It sounds like Docker's look.

57:22SPEAKER- Sure.

57:23SPEAKER- Yeah, I think that's a solid C or D probably for me.

57:26SPEAKER- I could see a C, it's not offensive,

57:27SPEAKERit's just, but it's not especially.

57:30SPEAKER- And that's no E mate.

57:31SPEAKER- And that makes our C tier the biggest tier,

57:34SPEAKERwhich I feel like is appropriate.

57:35SPEAKER- Yeah, that feels right, it feels right.

57:38SPEAKERI think that's it, I think that's everything.

57:40SPEAKER- Yeah, that's a pretty solid amount of ranking

57:43SPEAKERthat we have done here.

57:44SPEAKER- We've ranked, we've came, we saw, we ranked.

57:47SPEAKER- Yeah.

57:48SPEAKER- I hope we triumphed.

57:50SPEAKERI hope people aren't yelling at their radios

57:52SPEAKERtoo, too much in the car.

57:53SPEAKER- Yeah, probably not.

57:54SPEAKERShould we recap one more time?

57:56SPEAKER- Yeah, I think we should do one more down the list.

57:58SPEAKER- Okay, all right, I'll just read them off.

58:00SPEAKER- Yeah, let's have it. - Once again.

58:02SPEAKERS tier, Macintosh, Windows 95, Dreamcast, GameCube,

58:07SPEAKEROriginal 3, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Game Boy, and PSP.

58:11SPEAKERA tier, PlayStation 1, Windows 3.1,

58:15SPEAKERJapanese Saturn, Windows XP, Nintendo DS, Windows Vista.

58:19SPEAKER- Are we sure about that Windows 3.1 in the A tier?

58:22SPEAKER- I mean, I can move it to S if you want.

58:24SPEAKER- No, no, that is not the way I was suggesting

58:26SPEAKERwe should move it.

58:27SPEAKER- Then there it stays.

58:29SPEAKER- Wow, okay, line in the sand.

58:30SPEAKERB, ARM Macintosh, PlayStation 5, Windows NT 4.0,

58:36SPEAKERWindows ME, N2K, Game Boy Advance, 3DS,

58:40SPEAKERWindows 8, Wii U, and Xbox Series X and S.

58:45SPEAKERC tier, Windows 3.11, American Saturn, Hitachi Hi Saturn.

58:51SPEAKERPlayStation 2, Xbox 360 Connect update, Windows 11,

58:56SPEAKERXbox, like original one, PlayStation 4, Xbox One X,

58:59SPEAKERand OS 2.

59:02SPEAKER- It's OS 2 Warp R4, thank you.

59:04SPEAKER- Probably important, I don't know if, was Warp,

59:07SPEAKERWarp was a name that they used across versions, right?

59:10SPEAKERWasn't there a Warp 3 and a Warp 4?

59:12SPEAKER- Warp denoted something, but I have no idea what it was.

59:15SPEAKER- Okay, D tier, the Apple E-Mate, the Xbox One,

59:21SPEAKERWindows 98, and the PlayStation Vita.

59:25SPEAKERThat's a real dregs.

59:27SPEAKER- Fine crop of terrible startup sounds.

59:29SPEAKERHey, at least they had a startup sound.

59:31SPEAKERYou know what, the F tier should go to the Wii

59:33SPEAKERand the Switch and the stuff that doesn't actually

59:38SPEAKERhave startup sounds anymore.

59:39SPEAKER- What is Nintendo doing, man?

59:41SPEAKERI don't get it, I do not get it.

59:43SPEAKER- They once ruled this world.

59:44SPEAKERAnd now the question is,

59:45SPEAKERdo we need to rank the S tier stuff?

59:47SPEAKER- I don't think so.

59:49SPEAKER- You don't think so?

59:50SPEAKERIf people want that right in.

59:51SPEAKER- Yeah, that's practically a whole other episode.

59:53SPEAKERI mean, that's eight, that's eight sounds.

59:56SPEAKERThat's practically a top 10.

59:59SPEAKERAnd I would have our time ranking those actually,

1:00:02SPEAKERbut it might be Windows 95 at the top.

1:00:05SPEAKER- Yeah, I think for me, it would come down to Windows 95

1:00:07SPEAKERor the GameCube.

1:00:09SPEAKER- Yeah.

1:00:10SPEAKER- Maybe the 360 sound has an outside chance there,

1:00:12SPEAKERbut I don't think anything else hangs.

1:00:14SPEAKER- I don't know, Dreamcast has got swagger.

1:00:17SPEAKER- Yeah, but if you play that right next

1:00:19SPEAKERto the GameCube sound, you're gonna be like,

1:00:20SPEAKERyeah, that's fine.

1:00:22SPEAKER- I don't know.

1:00:23SPEAKERMaybe a granted, I don't know.

1:00:24SPEAKERLook, if people wanna hear more about this,

1:00:26SPEAKERmaybe we'll get back to it.

1:00:27SPEAKER- Yeah, exactly.

1:00:28SPEAKER(upbeat music)

1:00:31SPEAKERAnd with that, another possibly ill-advised

1:00:34SPEAKERranking project comes to an end.

1:00:36SPEAKER- Well, hey, it's in the books, you know?

1:00:39SPEAKER- Question mark, maybe there's more ranking.

1:00:41SPEAKERMaybe we missed a whole category of things we get.

1:00:43SPEAKERMaybe we could rank microwave beeping sounds.

1:00:46SPEAKER- What is it like to just affect confidence all the time?

1:00:51SPEAKER- I used to feel like that when I was younger

1:00:52SPEAKERand the older I get, the less confident I am all the time.

1:00:55SPEAKER- Here we are sitting here just kind of hedging our bets

1:00:58SPEAKERin case people didn't like this ranking.

1:01:00SPEAKERWhat is it like to be the type of person

1:01:01SPEAKERwho just speaks very highly

1:01:03SPEAKERof everything you do all the time?

1:01:05SPEAKER- I think there's a happy balance probably.

1:01:08SPEAKER- Yeah, sure.

1:01:10SPEAKER- I feel pretty confident in our decisions

1:01:14SPEAKERwith this ranking.

1:01:15SPEAKERI went back and looked at the tier list

1:01:17SPEAKERwhen we recorded the intros and outros.

1:01:18SPEAKERI was like, yeah, I can get behind most of this.

1:01:20SPEAKERI don't know about that, like, I don't know.

1:01:23SPEAKERI'm looking at the list.

1:01:24SPEAKERMaybe the Windows 3.1 startup sound,

1:01:26SPEAKERI think we left too high, but you know.

1:01:28SPEAKER- Yeah, sure, I mean, look, okay, look,

1:01:29SPEAKERthere was a lot of nostalgia in that placement,

1:01:32SPEAKERbut look, if my career has taught me anything,

1:01:34SPEAKERif there's one thing I am confident in,

1:01:36SPEAKERit's placement of items on a list over time.

1:01:41SPEAKERBut you know, look, a little self-deprecation

1:01:43SPEAKERcan be humanizing, right?

1:01:44SPEAKERBut too much is probably a little grating.

1:01:46SPEAKER- That's true.

1:01:47SPEAKERAnd I think the other thing that we did talk about

1:01:50SPEAKERmaybe doing, but we haven't done,

1:01:51SPEAKERis actually ordering the S tier stuff.

1:01:54SPEAKERI think that's a whole other episode though.

1:01:56SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah.

1:01:57SPEAKERI mean, can you really pit the Dreamcast opening against,

1:02:02SPEAKERI don't have the tier list in front of me, but let's-

1:02:04SPEAKER- GameCube or Windows 95?

1:02:05SPEAKERYes, I think you can.

1:02:06SPEAKERI think that there's some that are better

1:02:08SPEAKERthan others in here for sure.

1:02:10SPEAKER- I came around, I came around as the wrong wording

1:02:14SPEAKERbecause I never disliked it,

1:02:15SPEAKERbut the Dreamcast one really went up in my estimation

1:02:19SPEAKERa lot in the course of that episode.

1:02:21SPEAKER- The Dreamcast one's real good.

1:02:22SPEAKERLike I had a Dreamcast and I didn't realize

1:02:25SPEAKERhow good we had it back then.

1:02:27SPEAKERThe GameCube though, that GameCube one,

1:02:29SPEAKERthat's a top tier console.

1:02:31SPEAKER- Frankly, those are both pieces of art to me.

1:02:34SPEAKER- Yeah.

1:02:35SPEAKER- Dreamcast and GameCube boot up animations

1:02:37SPEAKERare both little tiny bite-sized pieces of art.

1:02:39SPEAKER- Where's Danny O'Dwyer's 10 week series on each of these,

1:02:45SPEAKERI mean, I guess we have eight on the list,

1:02:46SPEAKERbut where's his breakdown

1:02:49SPEAKERon how the Dreamcast startup sound had?

1:02:52SPEAKERI wanna hear who made it.

1:02:53SPEAKERI wanna hear who was in the room

1:02:54SPEAKERwhen they decided what it was gonna be.

1:02:56SPEAKERI wanted to find out who made

1:02:58SPEAKERthat terrible Sega Dreamcast logo.

1:03:00SPEAKER- Wait, what?

1:03:01SPEAKER- Oh no, Sega Saturn logo was the bad one.

1:03:03SPEAKERThe Dreamcast logo was good.

1:03:04SPEAKER- Yes, yeah, memorable.

1:03:06SPEAKERI don't know what this says about me,

1:03:07SPEAKERbut I would watch an hour documentary

1:03:09SPEAKERon each one of these sounds and animations.

1:03:12SPEAKER- Now the internet's gonna tell us where they are.

1:03:14SPEAKERThey're probably already made, but yeah.

1:03:18SPEAKERThanks everybody for listening.

1:03:19SPEAKERThanks for supporting the show.

1:03:20SPEAKERIf you have feedback, you can go post it in the Discord.

1:03:24SPEAKERIf you're not in the Discord, you can get in the Discord

1:03:25SPEAKERby going to patreon.com/techpod.

1:03:29SPEAKERAgain, it's patreon.com/techpod.

1:03:31SPEAKERIt's five bucks a month.

1:03:32SPEAKERYou get access to all the back episodes of the patron show

1:03:36SPEAKERwhere we kind of talk about whatever small projects

1:03:37SPEAKERor stuff that maybe doesn't rate a full episode.

1:03:40SPEAKERAnd then we also have the Discord,

1:03:42SPEAKERwhich is full of a bunch of beautiful nerds

1:03:44SPEAKERwho talk about, I'm sure the threads

1:03:47SPEAKERfor these two episodes are short

1:03:50SPEAKERand just full of people saying, wow, what a perfect list.

1:03:53SPEAKERI have no thoughts on this.

1:03:54SPEAKER- I'm detecting a little bit of sarcasm.

1:03:56SPEAKER- No, no, no, I think it's gonna be fun.

1:03:57SPEAKERI'm really looking forward to it, actually.

1:03:58SPEAKER- Okay, yeah, me too.

1:03:59SPEAKER- Because they'll be thoughtful and good.

1:04:01SPEAKERAnd then the question is,

1:04:05SPEAKERI'm curious for future us,

1:04:06SPEAKERdid we make one thread for both of these episodes

1:04:10SPEAKERor is it one thread per episode?

1:04:12SPEAKERI think it has to be one thread per episode

1:04:14SPEAKERbecause of the weak break in between.

1:04:15SPEAKER- Oh yeah, well, and Thread Slapper, I think,

1:04:17SPEAKERis just gonna slap it together as usual, right?

1:04:20SPEAKER- Yeah, yeah, Thread Slapper does it automatically.

1:04:22SPEAKERThanks, cake batter.

1:04:23SPEAKERBut anyway, yeah, that'll do it for us this week.

1:04:25SPEAKERThanks again for supporting the show.

1:04:26SPEAKERYou can go to patreon.com/checkpod to sign up.

1:04:29SPEAKERAnd we are listeners supported,

1:04:30SPEAKERso without you all, we wouldn't be here.

1:04:31SPEAKERSo we do appreciate each and every one of our patrons.

1:04:35SPEAKER- True.

1:04:36SPEAKER- But we especially appreciate our executive producer

1:04:38SPEAKERand tier patrons, including James Kamik, David Allen,

1:04:41SPEAKERBunny Jerk, Jordan Lippett, Andrew Slosky,

1:04:45SPEAKERnextlander.net, comma, it's .com,

1:04:48SPEAKERPantheon, makers of the HS3 High Speed 3D Printer,

1:04:51SPEAKERand Jason Lee.

1:04:52SPEAKERThank you all so, so much.

1:04:53SPEAKER- Thank you.

1:04:54SPEAKERAnd we should probably point out,

1:04:55SPEAKERwe skipped the Q&A this month

1:04:58SPEAKERin favor of this two-part ranking,

1:04:59SPEAKERbut I guess don't forget to keep dropping questions

1:05:02SPEAKERin the Q&A channel on the Discord

1:05:03SPEAKERor sending them in to techpod@content.town.

1:05:07SPEAKER- Yeah, we might do a big double next month.

1:05:10SPEAKERMaybe we'll do a supplementary Q&A in here somewhere.

1:05:12SPEAKER- Yeah, I think that totally works.

1:05:15SPEAKERSo yeah, that'll do it for us this week.

1:05:16SPEAKERThanks everybody for listening.

1:05:17SPEAKERThanks for supporting the show.

1:05:18SPEAKERAnd we will be back next week

1:05:19SPEAKERwith another edition of the Tech Pod.

1:05:21SPEAKERAs always, please consider the environment

1:05:24SPEAKERbefore printing this podcast.